So the testing continues and yes, I became offended! Very offended!!
Jesus said that it was impossible to not have things happen that would cause offense. So it's a huge relief to know that it really is normal to feel offended. It's how we deal with it that counts.
Remember the couple that stood me up on Wednesday night? She called last night to apologize. At first she said that they were just too busy and then she changed it to
they just weren't used to going to church anymore, and then she ended it by saying that they simply forgot. Now you tell me which of those stories was the truth. She had called ME the day before asking for the favor, not me her. I was pretty un-responsive but told her that someone would be there to pick them up in time for church this morning. I really am glad that they were ready and waiting. But it was the ride to church that finished me off and caused me to be greatly offended. I heard all about how they wanted to move back to PA because of the wonderful church there that had showered them with groceries and other things when they had first moved in, and how they didn't expect them to come to church or want anything from them. And the people there were much more friendly than the people in this church. HU?! Her boyfriend responded from the back seat where he was sitting by saying, "But we've just started." OK so I had their number and it was flashing in neon! We'd reached the church by then which was fortunate because I needed to distance myself from them very quickly.
Let me interject at this point that our church is the most loving and giving church of any I've ever been associated with. When they hear of a need they will go out of their way to see that it's met. A little over a year ago a group of people that had been living in the same housing where this couple are living started coming to church. We lavished everything on them that we could. At Christmas the church gave them all huge baskets of food plus supplied them with microwaves, bedding, etc. The majority of those people sold what we had given them to buy booze. We are called to love and to meet needs but we are also called to be wise stewards of what God has given to us and also have to be careful not to continue the enabling. We gave as unto the Lord so weren't lamenting for having helped. However; it was a lesson learned and we'd be much wiser the next time. One of the men from that group ended up having his life has been totally transformed. He is a growing Christian and is an absolute delight. So it was worth all the care and love we poured into all of them. One day the others might get their heart right with God too. But back to this couple.
So hopefully you can understand why I instantly felt like I saw through what they were saying and the word "users" kept flashing through my mind. She knows all the right "Christianeze" as well. I entered into the morning service very offended and angry. And by the way.. there is an anger that is not sin and this was it! I planned to have a talk with them on the way home and tell them about the previous tennants and how the church had helped them but how wary we had become because of what they had done. And I also planned to tell them that what I was hearing is that they were really asking for help and that they needed to just come out and ask for it instead of pretending that they were interested in coming to church. I ended up helping in the nursery which was just as well because my heart was in no condition to listen to the message.
After church dismissed I talk to the couple who had been stood up the week before and told them what had happened since and how I was feeling. I asked them to please pray for me that God would give me wisdom. So the three of us stood there holding hands and he prayed. When he was finished praying my whole perspective had changed. The Lord had filled my heart with His peace and I was no longer angry and offended.
Bill and I drove them home and she said how much they enjoyed the service and how much she really wanted to do God's will, etc. etc. We had a chance to share some with them and explained to them that often people wonder why their prayers aren't being answered and why they are receiving no blessings and it's because the only way we could expect God's blessings in our lives is to walk in obedience to his Word. They got very quiet.
We will continue to pray for them that God will bring them out of the darkness into his marvelous light and that we will see their lives transformed!
So my lesson today is that being offended is normal but we immediately need to take it to the Lord in prayer and make sure that our response is one that is the pleasing and perfect will of God and that we don't just react out of our offended humanness.
There may be a time that it will be OK for me to get in someone's face and read them the "riot act". In fact that has happened and I knew that it was right and the outcome was wonderful. But today was not such a day.
I wonder when the next "test" will come, and who it will come from?!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
I've been reading an incredible book called, "The Bait of Satan" by John Bevere. It's all about offense in the Body of Christ. This is a quote from it I found quite intereting. "The Greek word for "offend" in Luke 17:1 comes from the word skandalon. This word originally referred to the part of the trap to which the bait was attached. Hence the word signifies laying a trap in someone's way. In the New Testament it often describes an entrapment used by the enemy."
It makes me wonder how often we are used for "bait" when we respond to situations in the flesh instead of responding according to the dictates of the Spirit. How about the day another Christian says something that normally wouldn't be offensive at all but because I forgot to put my spiritual armour on that morning I become deeply offended. And I wonder how often we are used as "bait" in the lives of unbelievers by the way we act and react to situations. In all of these scenarios entrapment can occur that can cause events to take place that have eternal consequences.
I've been doing a lot of soul searching while reading this book and God has really been doing a work in me.
Within the last 2 days three different situations occurred that would have normally caused me to be greatly offended at the individuals, but because of God's grace I found myself feeling some frustration but not offended. Now that is a miracle!
1. I went to the hairdresser and asked her about doing a perm for me and asked her the cost. She told me $32. I was surprised that after all these years it was still that price so I went for it even though in these days it was quite a splurge for my unemployed pocket book. When I got to the register to pay for it she said, "Oh it's not $32 it's $49 but I can give you a discount at it will be $45.73" Whoops!
Ok so I could have made a huge issue over it and told her I would only pay the $32 as that is what she had quoted me and let it come out of her own pocket. And by rights I could have, but I thought, 'why give her a bad day because she made a mistake?' So I paid it and left. I had no feeling of personal offense toward her at all. And no, she didn't get a tip basically because I couldn't afford to give her one after diminishing my funds by $13 more than I had expected to. And on top of that I could only hope that I could make something decent out of the "do" she had given me. Talk about a "bad hair day". My age is bad enough without having made me look like a '60's grandma with a high pompador. I felt stressed and frustrated and headed home to wet my hair down. Thankfully it worked!
2. A couple who had come to church once, called on the same day as the perm incident (Tues) to ask if I'd pick them up for Church on Wed. evening. They live about 10 min. from us so off I went to pick them up at the designated time. When I arrived their landlord was outside working in the yard and told me that they had left a few minutes before for a bike ride. Whoops!
So I headed back home to pick up my husband and take him to church. I found myself feeling a bit harried and frustrated but had no feeling of personal offense toward them.
3. We were awakened at 4:00 this morning with a call from the man Bill was taking fishing today to find out if the fishing trip was still on. This man is a new believer trying to get his roots dug deeper in the faith. He had called yesterday afternoon to ask the same question. Bill wasn't home but I told him that as far as I knew it was unless it poured rain. Whoops!
Bill and I both suffer from insomina so once we are awakened there is no going back to sleep. So I was torqued! Really torqued! And I told Bill everything he needed to say to him when he picked him up. And thankfully Bill knows not to take my advice after I've only had 4 hours sleep the night before. Am I offended? I don't think so in the sense of holding it against him. In fact I'm feeding him dinner this evening after they bring their big haul of fish in. Bill does intend to gently give him some guidance of the best time to call. :)
In the first first incident would it have really made a lot of difference had I reacted badly? She doesn't know me, though if I ever get her again I would probably have forfeited my right to ever talk to her about anything of eternal value.
How about the last two if I show offense when I see them again?
And what would that offensive spirit do to my spiritual life? How much of a stronghold would I end up having?
Will I continue to have the right reactions when other events occur that could cause great offense? I know that there is no way without totally allowing God to renew my mind continuously and remembering to take from His unlimited supply of grace. I need to expect the enemy to be trying to bait me every single day by using other people. And I need to remember that he will also try to use me as bait as often as he can.
Now I am going to post this and try to get a little sleep so I can get something accomplished today, like the final for the online course I've been taking. Groan!
Well, it appears I have an apology to make to my fisherman guest. When they got home I was so tired I could hardly see straight as I had not been able to fall asleep, and I know I didn't act very graciously when he told me he was sorry for waking me up at 4a.m. I didn't want to say, "Oh well that's OK" because it wasn't.. No it wasn't at all. But my brain was dead so I just looked at him and said, "Well, I don't do very well on 4 hours sleep a night". To which he responded, "That's all I had!" So that was a no win. I shuffled off to the recliner, turned the fan on and fell asleep. When I was awakened later by the phone ringing I discovered I was alone in the house. Our guest had been taken home as he was in a lot of pain so didn't even get dinner. I so hope part of that pain wasn't caused from my apparent attitude causing him to be offended. I hope to see him tomorrow and tell him that I am not angry but that I was just very, very tired. My guess is that he won't ever call us again at 4a.m. unless it's an emergency. I can only hope!
It makes me wonder how often we are used for "bait" when we respond to situations in the flesh instead of responding according to the dictates of the Spirit. How about the day another Christian says something that normally wouldn't be offensive at all but because I forgot to put my spiritual armour on that morning I become deeply offended. And I wonder how often we are used as "bait" in the lives of unbelievers by the way we act and react to situations. In all of these scenarios entrapment can occur that can cause events to take place that have eternal consequences.
I've been doing a lot of soul searching while reading this book and God has really been doing a work in me.
Within the last 2 days three different situations occurred that would have normally caused me to be greatly offended at the individuals, but because of God's grace I found myself feeling some frustration but not offended. Now that is a miracle!
1. I went to the hairdresser and asked her about doing a perm for me and asked her the cost. She told me $32. I was surprised that after all these years it was still that price so I went for it even though in these days it was quite a splurge for my unemployed pocket book. When I got to the register to pay for it she said, "Oh it's not $32 it's $49 but I can give you a discount at it will be $45.73" Whoops!
Ok so I could have made a huge issue over it and told her I would only pay the $32 as that is what she had quoted me and let it come out of her own pocket. And by rights I could have, but I thought, 'why give her a bad day because she made a mistake?' So I paid it and left. I had no feeling of personal offense toward her at all. And no, she didn't get a tip basically because I couldn't afford to give her one after diminishing my funds by $13 more than I had expected to. And on top of that I could only hope that I could make something decent out of the "do" she had given me. Talk about a "bad hair day". My age is bad enough without having made me look like a '60's grandma with a high pompador. I felt stressed and frustrated and headed home to wet my hair down. Thankfully it worked!
2. A couple who had come to church once, called on the same day as the perm incident (Tues) to ask if I'd pick them up for Church on Wed. evening. They live about 10 min. from us so off I went to pick them up at the designated time. When I arrived their landlord was outside working in the yard and told me that they had left a few minutes before for a bike ride. Whoops!
So I headed back home to pick up my husband and take him to church. I found myself feeling a bit harried and frustrated but had no feeling of personal offense toward them.
3. We were awakened at 4:00 this morning with a call from the man Bill was taking fishing today to find out if the fishing trip was still on. This man is a new believer trying to get his roots dug deeper in the faith. He had called yesterday afternoon to ask the same question. Bill wasn't home but I told him that as far as I knew it was unless it poured rain. Whoops!
Bill and I both suffer from insomina so once we are awakened there is no going back to sleep. So I was torqued! Really torqued! And I told Bill everything he needed to say to him when he picked him up. And thankfully Bill knows not to take my advice after I've only had 4 hours sleep the night before. Am I offended? I don't think so in the sense of holding it against him. In fact I'm feeding him dinner this evening after they bring their big haul of fish in. Bill does intend to gently give him some guidance of the best time to call. :)
In the first first incident would it have really made a lot of difference had I reacted badly? She doesn't know me, though if I ever get her again I would probably have forfeited my right to ever talk to her about anything of eternal value.
How about the last two if I show offense when I see them again?
And what would that offensive spirit do to my spiritual life? How much of a stronghold would I end up having?
Will I continue to have the right reactions when other events occur that could cause great offense? I know that there is no way without totally allowing God to renew my mind continuously and remembering to take from His unlimited supply of grace. I need to expect the enemy to be trying to bait me every single day by using other people. And I need to remember that he will also try to use me as bait as often as he can.
Now I am going to post this and try to get a little sleep so I can get something accomplished today, like the final for the online course I've been taking. Groan!
Well, it appears I have an apology to make to my fisherman guest. When they got home I was so tired I could hardly see straight as I had not been able to fall asleep, and I know I didn't act very graciously when he told me he was sorry for waking me up at 4a.m. I didn't want to say, "Oh well that's OK" because it wasn't.. No it wasn't at all. But my brain was dead so I just looked at him and said, "Well, I don't do very well on 4 hours sleep a night". To which he responded, "That's all I had!" So that was a no win. I shuffled off to the recliner, turned the fan on and fell asleep. When I was awakened later by the phone ringing I discovered I was alone in the house. Our guest had been taken home as he was in a lot of pain so didn't even get dinner. I so hope part of that pain wasn't caused from my apparent attitude causing him to be offended. I hope to see him tomorrow and tell him that I am not angry but that I was just very, very tired. My guess is that he won't ever call us again at 4a.m. unless it's an emergency. I can only hope!
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