When we first got to Marion I prayed that I’d get a job with IWU as it would help with tuition. I’d put in my application but hadn’t heard anything, so after about a month I put in an application with Wal-Mart and got hired. Oh me of little faith! One week after I worked there I got a call from IWU for an interview and the job was mine.
God had not only provided the job but he had also provided a house at an un-heard of rental amount.
My Mom was in the nursing home 3 minutes from our house. She now needed 24/7 care which I was not able to provide on my own. Over the years there we watched her failing more and more all the time. This was a type of stress that I had no idea how to handle. I think only those who have lost a parent to Alzheimer’s may know the roller coaster of emotions that we go through; to include huge amounts of guilt at times. However; even in this God was revealing his amazing “otherness” to me. (By “otherness” I mean that though we try to put him into a human box that we can understand, he’s so much bigger than that!) One day when she was sitting in her wheel chair and staring into space with a vacant look, I reached over and gently rubbed the back of her hand. There was still nothing, and this had been her state for a long time. And then I spoke to her and said, “Mom, you’ve walked with Jesus for a whole lot of years, haven’t you?” I couldn’t believe my eyes when her face suddenly lit up in joyful radiance and she nodded her head in agreement. And I said, “You’re going to be seeing him one day soon!” Again the light came back into her eyes with the radiant smile and she nodded her head! From time to time I would talk to her about Jesus and about Heaven and I would always have the same response.
It reminded me of the verse that says, “Thou outwardly we are decaying, inwardly we are being renewed day by day”. God’s Holy Spirit still indwelt her and Alzheimer’s disease hadn’t changed that. It made me sad and sickened my heart to know firsthand of those who treated people with dementia as non-persons with nothing left to offer. She no longer knew who I was but I knew her and what an honor and a privilege to sit with her and know that Jesus was right there with her as he was with me, and he was still using her to teach me lessons of the “fruit of the Spirit” that I needed in my own life that I would never have learned any other way!
In Jan. 2005 we began to wonder what we’d do about her after Bill graduated that May. We received a phone call from the Director of Missions in the Pacific Rim asking Bill to come and teach in the Bible School in Bougainville. We both had a heart for missions and had led a mission’s team there from IWU and loved it, but we both clearly knew it was not where God wanted us to go.
Bill had started to send out resumes to various churches outside of Indiana and we’d risen to the top of potential candidates for one church and the next step was to travel to candidate on a Sunday morning. Someone decided that their Assistant Pastor would be a good candidate and that door was suddenly closed to us although they did call and ask Bill if he’d like to serve as a youth pastor.
On March 5th Mom went home to be with Jesus.
We received a call from our D.S. in Central NY asking us to consider a small church in the country. Prior to this I had made it very clear to Bill that I had no desire to serve in a small country church. My fear was that I’d be too lonely. As soon as we heard about this church we both knew immediately it was where God wanted us. We drove from Marion to candidate. The night we arrived I was standing in the beautiful home of the Vice Chairman of the board looking out over a gorgeous valley below us and thought, “God this is beautiful but there’s nothing here! I must have heard you wrong! There’s no way I will survive in this wilderness!” We were to meet the church people the next evening and I asked the Lord that if this was where he wanted us to serve to please let me know that very clearly when we met with them. The next evening we walked into the fellowship hall of the church, and as the people came forward to welcome us my heart totally melted and I instantly fell in love with them. I was home! This was where God wanted us to be.
We moved in to the parsonage in July and in the Fall I had been to a doctor who told me that she didn’t like what she’d felt in her examination and told me to go get a mammogram done. I forgot about it and besides, there was no way there could be anything there. A couple of months later she called and got on my case so I complied and had it done. The next thing I knew I got an official piece of paper in the mail stating that I had cancer. Bill and I were both stunned and experienced a whole new gamut of emotions. Once again we found ourselves asking God for His divine intervention, but at the same time willing to submit to his answer if it was no. I have no idea how long it had been there but it was a stage 2 and mostly encapsulated. I had surgery to remove the cyst but after much prayer I opted to not have any treatments as the sentinel lymph node was clear and the margins had all been clear. We realized then that if we had accepted the invitation to move to Bougainville in the Solomon Islands, that the cancer most likely would have progressed to a point that by the time it was discovered it would have been too late. Once again, the Lord had protected me.
The door opened for the perfect job for me at Catholic Charities in the town 10 min. from us. I work with hurting, desperate people every day. I feel one with them in their pain, as I’ve traveled so much of that same road. I know the answer for their desperation and I pray daily for them that they will come to know the One who has the answers for them and the one that can give them the peace they so desperately need. I listen a lot and cry with them.
This has been an amazing journey and one that I plan to stay on as long as I am on this earth!
Most days on my way to work I sing a song I first heard from the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir, “I bless your name, I bless your name, I give you honor give you praise, you are the life, the truth the way, I bless your name, I bless your name” and I then thank the Lord for everything good that would happen in the day and for everything bad that would happen in the day! He is bigger than all of it. It has totally changed my whole perspective of life when I have felt like crawling in a hole or am looking at what seems like insurmountable problems.
I hope you have been able to catch a glimpse of our great and wonderful God through reading this account of His wondrous works! I hope that if you know Him personally that your faith has been increased and that you will want to get to know him even better! I pray that if you don’t know Him that your heart will cry out to Him and that you will find in Him all your heart is long ing for!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
A Dream, Some Thoughts, Moving On
I believe that God sometimes chooses to speak to us through dreams. I also believe that sometimes our dreams are a result of the pizza we ate before we went to sleep or other things going on in our lives. However; one night when we were in the 5th year of this journey I had a dream about snakes. My Dad had told me that dreams about snakes meant the presence of evil. I’d always heeded that and would make sure that I took special care to watch and pray, and most often something would start raising its ugly head. I was in the woods in my dream and one of the snakes was the size of a train and it had 5 parts, there were two small ones in the trees. The next morning I truly believed that this dream held great significance so I asked the Lord for the interpretation. I believe that He spoke to my spirit and told me that the big one represented the 5 years that Satan was raging against us. We had invaded his territory and he was angry. He had tried to take us out and had tried everything to make us lose our faith. The two smaller ones meant that we had only two more years left of this entire ordeal and life would be much easier though not without some tough times. And sure enough, it happened exactly that way.
You’d think the “enemy of our souls” would give it up. But he never does even though the scriptures say, “No weapons formed against you will prosper”, “In this world you will have tribulation but be of good cheer for I have overcome the world” “What you meant for evil God meant for our good” and so many more.
I want to say at this point that I am no one special. God doesn’t love me more than he does anyone else. I don’t claim to understand His ways, but I do know that there is no safe place outside of his protection. All humans go through tough times in their lives. And we can go through them all alone and often be destroyed by them or we can let God walk with us through them and experience his peace and blessings in the midst of them.
I accepted Jesus as my Savior as a child. Thankfully, I had parents who loved God and walked with absolute integrity before their family but I couldn’t ride in on their shirt tails. My relationship with the Lord had to be my own. One thing that has never ceased to amaze me is how very patient he is with us. Though I loved him I blew it so many times and had to ask for forgiveness which he always granted. I discovered over the years that I had some addictions that I had no power over. God is never shocked by that stuff. When I got serious about wanting to be set free He started to talk to me through the Bible about the deeper issues that were causing the addictions and through the renewing of my mind I was set free. There’s a verse in the Bible that says, “Whom the Son has set free is free indeed!” Without God it’s easy to think that we have freedom but the reality is that most people are in some kind of bondage and aren’t free at all. He is the only one powerful enough to totally set us free. The other verse I like is “Jesus said, ‘I have come that you might have life and have it to the full!’” WOW! is that ever true.
I know there are those who may read this who don’t believe as I do. Ya know what? That’s OK. I totally respect your right to choose to believe anything you want to. I have people in my life who I dearly love that don’t believe as I do. I don’t preach at people. I am who I am and will love you unconditionally. If something I have written in my blog has touched your heart and encouraged you I am so glad!
Friends of New Hope Wesleyan Church where we were attending came and helped us pack up our house after selling it and we loaded up the Ryder truck. The car we had, had died but by now we didn’t worry about the supply of our need. We knew we were bound for Indiana and either God would supply before we left or after we got there. A friend went to a car auction and purchased a car for us and told us we could pay him back whatever we could on a monthly basis.
We took an apartment that a friend had found for us sight unseen. It was part of a large house and we signed a 6 months lease hoping to find something in a little better condition. At the end of the 6 months a lady in the church we were attending asked us if we’d be willing to sublet the house she was renting from IWU while she spent 6 months teaching in the Czech Republic. It was a very small but cute house with a huge yard. I asked her how much the rent was and when she told me $200 a month I couldn’t believe it! That was a no brainer. I think it was the cheapest rent in Marion. She left for the Czech and we moved in. Instead of 6 months she stayed there for 2 years and after returning decided she didn’t want the house anymore, so we had a house to live in the rest of our years there, and at a price that was unheard of! I worked full time for the college and Bill worked part time for a funeral home while he went to school.
The story of how we landed where we are now is really interesting too. I think it will complete what I started in the blog but I’ll close this for now.
You’d think the “enemy of our souls” would give it up. But he never does even though the scriptures say, “No weapons formed against you will prosper”, “In this world you will have tribulation but be of good cheer for I have overcome the world” “What you meant for evil God meant for our good” and so many more.
I want to say at this point that I am no one special. God doesn’t love me more than he does anyone else. I don’t claim to understand His ways, but I do know that there is no safe place outside of his protection. All humans go through tough times in their lives. And we can go through them all alone and often be destroyed by them or we can let God walk with us through them and experience his peace and blessings in the midst of them.
I accepted Jesus as my Savior as a child. Thankfully, I had parents who loved God and walked with absolute integrity before their family but I couldn’t ride in on their shirt tails. My relationship with the Lord had to be my own. One thing that has never ceased to amaze me is how very patient he is with us. Though I loved him I blew it so many times and had to ask for forgiveness which he always granted. I discovered over the years that I had some addictions that I had no power over. God is never shocked by that stuff. When I got serious about wanting to be set free He started to talk to me through the Bible about the deeper issues that were causing the addictions and through the renewing of my mind I was set free. There’s a verse in the Bible that says, “Whom the Son has set free is free indeed!” Without God it’s easy to think that we have freedom but the reality is that most people are in some kind of bondage and aren’t free at all. He is the only one powerful enough to totally set us free. The other verse I like is “Jesus said, ‘I have come that you might have life and have it to the full!’” WOW! is that ever true.
I know there are those who may read this who don’t believe as I do. Ya know what? That’s OK. I totally respect your right to choose to believe anything you want to. I have people in my life who I dearly love that don’t believe as I do. I don’t preach at people. I am who I am and will love you unconditionally. If something I have written in my blog has touched your heart and encouraged you I am so glad!
Friends of New Hope Wesleyan Church where we were attending came and helped us pack up our house after selling it and we loaded up the Ryder truck. The car we had, had died but by now we didn’t worry about the supply of our need. We knew we were bound for Indiana and either God would supply before we left or after we got there. A friend went to a car auction and purchased a car for us and told us we could pay him back whatever we could on a monthly basis.
We took an apartment that a friend had found for us sight unseen. It was part of a large house and we signed a 6 months lease hoping to find something in a little better condition. At the end of the 6 months a lady in the church we were attending asked us if we’d be willing to sublet the house she was renting from IWU while she spent 6 months teaching in the Czech Republic. It was a very small but cute house with a huge yard. I asked her how much the rent was and when she told me $200 a month I couldn’t believe it! That was a no brainer. I think it was the cheapest rent in Marion. She left for the Czech and we moved in. Instead of 6 months she stayed there for 2 years and after returning decided she didn’t want the house anymore, so we had a house to live in the rest of our years there, and at a price that was unheard of! I worked full time for the college and Bill worked part time for a funeral home while he went to school.
The story of how we landed where we are now is really interesting too. I think it will complete what I started in the blog but I’ll close this for now.
Parlor Grand, a new job, selling house..miracles continue..
Friends of ours called and said that the couple they’d been house sitting for were moving and wanted to sell their 1949 AB Chase Parlor Grand Piano and asked if we wanted to buy it for $200. I didn’t need a Grand Piano but I had a feeling that God was supplying it to us at that price to be able to resell at a time down the road when we’d need the money. We had an appraiser look at it and it was in perfect condition. Sure enough some months later we had no idea how we would pay our taxes so after talking it over we decided to put it in the classified ads for $2,000. Before Bill got home that afternoon I suddenly felt like I needed to call the paper and lower it to $1500. When Bill walked in the house the first words out of his mouth were, “I think you need to call the paper and lower the price to $1500.”
One couple came to see it and bought it and we were able to pay our taxes!
We had gone to a financial counselor and when she looked over our paper work she asked us how long we’d been living like this. We told her that it had been 3 years. She was incredulous, and she asked us if we’d ever considered bankruptcy.
GM had offered to send Bill to school to train for a different career and he had chosen the field of nursing He became an LPN and was working at St. Joe’s in Syracuse but we still weren’t able to make ends meet. I knew the verse in the Bible that says, “If anyone lacks wisdom let him ask of God who gives to all men liberally, without finding fault”. So I spent a week asking. I had also learned that when I was in a crisis that I needed to fast at least one meal in the day and use that time praying. I told the Lord that I didn’t understand how bankruptcy would be part of His will for our lives, but if he didn’t come through for us that week that we’d begin the process.
A couple of days later we had a phone call from a man that Bill had worked with at GM. He was working as the Human Resource person for a big air conditioning company in Auburn. He asked me what Bill was doing and when I told him he asked me if he liked his job. I told him that he loved nursing. He said that there was an opening in the plant and the first person he thought of was Bill and he knew that Bill would be the perfect person for the job. I remember thinking, “If this works out we will just have experienced another miracle that came about through direct divine intervention.” Bill went in for an interview and called him back for a 2nd interview. The absolutely amazing thing is that the position did not exist in the entire world wide cooperation. They wanted to create it and it had to be passed through corporate headquarters first, and they wanted Bill to fill the position. After the 2nd interview on a Friday we had to wait until Tuesday for the answer. On Tuesday we received the news that the position had been created and Bill was now employed with a salary where he was making even more than he did at GM. God had once again done “abundantly beyond what we were able to ask or think.”
I was elated but I had the overwhelming sense that this would only be for a time and that God had been preparing us through these difficult years for a different plan He had not revealed to us yet.
During that time my mother who had progressed with Alzheimer’s disease came to live with us. She stored her things at our place and spent two years living between her 4 children. I had gotten a part time job being a monitor on the school bus for a local school.
One day I got a call from Bill while he was driving the hour home from work. He asked me if I was sitting down. I asked him what was wrong. He said, “What if I told you that God wants me to prepare for full time Christian ministry?” I paused and then replied, “I’d ask you if you were finally tired of being in the belly of the fish.” He had heard from many people through the years that he had missed his calling and needed to be a pastor. Bill had no interest as doing it as a career. He had always said, “If God wants me to be a pastor he’ll tell me.” He had been feeling more and more convicted about it and this day he talked to God and said, “If you want me to be a pastor I am willing.” Immediately God let him know that this was exactly what he wanted him to do.
Later we discussed how we would go about beginning the process. We thought that the wisest plan of action would be that he would go through the “Flame” program through our church headquarters where he’d do modules at different locations.
A couple of months after this Bill was called into the office at work and told that they were outsourcing his position as they could do it for a much lesser amount. Once again Bill found himself unemployed, but this time with a wonderful severance package.
I had been partnering with our pastor’s wife in prayer and when we met that week I was going to ask her to pray with me that Bill would be able to find another job. The Lord spoke clearly to my spirit and told me not to pray for him to get a job. I found it strange but what we didn’t know is that my mother was quickly coming to the stage in the disease where she could no longer travel and she couldn’t be left alone. I could keep my job as Bill would be home and he would also be able to finally complete our house. We decided that it would be the perfect opportunity for Bill to go to school full time. We’d sell our house and move to Marion, Indiana so that he could attend IWU. After the house was completed we put it on the market. What normally took 8-9 months to sell took us 6 weeks. A lady had been looking for her “dream house” for 3 years and when she walked into ours she knew that “this was it”.
To be continued..
One couple came to see it and bought it and we were able to pay our taxes!
We had gone to a financial counselor and when she looked over our paper work she asked us how long we’d been living like this. We told her that it had been 3 years. She was incredulous, and she asked us if we’d ever considered bankruptcy.
GM had offered to send Bill to school to train for a different career and he had chosen the field of nursing He became an LPN and was working at St. Joe’s in Syracuse but we still weren’t able to make ends meet. I knew the verse in the Bible that says, “If anyone lacks wisdom let him ask of God who gives to all men liberally, without finding fault”. So I spent a week asking. I had also learned that when I was in a crisis that I needed to fast at least one meal in the day and use that time praying. I told the Lord that I didn’t understand how bankruptcy would be part of His will for our lives, but if he didn’t come through for us that week that we’d begin the process.
A couple of days later we had a phone call from a man that Bill had worked with at GM. He was working as the Human Resource person for a big air conditioning company in Auburn. He asked me what Bill was doing and when I told him he asked me if he liked his job. I told him that he loved nursing. He said that there was an opening in the plant and the first person he thought of was Bill and he knew that Bill would be the perfect person for the job. I remember thinking, “If this works out we will just have experienced another miracle that came about through direct divine intervention.” Bill went in for an interview and called him back for a 2nd interview. The absolutely amazing thing is that the position did not exist in the entire world wide cooperation. They wanted to create it and it had to be passed through corporate headquarters first, and they wanted Bill to fill the position. After the 2nd interview on a Friday we had to wait until Tuesday for the answer. On Tuesday we received the news that the position had been created and Bill was now employed with a salary where he was making even more than he did at GM. God had once again done “abundantly beyond what we were able to ask or think.”
I was elated but I had the overwhelming sense that this would only be for a time and that God had been preparing us through these difficult years for a different plan He had not revealed to us yet.
During that time my mother who had progressed with Alzheimer’s disease came to live with us. She stored her things at our place and spent two years living between her 4 children. I had gotten a part time job being a monitor on the school bus for a local school.
One day I got a call from Bill while he was driving the hour home from work. He asked me if I was sitting down. I asked him what was wrong. He said, “What if I told you that God wants me to prepare for full time Christian ministry?” I paused and then replied, “I’d ask you if you were finally tired of being in the belly of the fish.” He had heard from many people through the years that he had missed his calling and needed to be a pastor. Bill had no interest as doing it as a career. He had always said, “If God wants me to be a pastor he’ll tell me.” He had been feeling more and more convicted about it and this day he talked to God and said, “If you want me to be a pastor I am willing.” Immediately God let him know that this was exactly what he wanted him to do.
Later we discussed how we would go about beginning the process. We thought that the wisest plan of action would be that he would go through the “Flame” program through our church headquarters where he’d do modules at different locations.
A couple of months after this Bill was called into the office at work and told that they were outsourcing his position as they could do it for a much lesser amount. Once again Bill found himself unemployed, but this time with a wonderful severance package.
I had been partnering with our pastor’s wife in prayer and when we met that week I was going to ask her to pray with me that Bill would be able to find another job. The Lord spoke clearly to my spirit and told me not to pray for him to get a job. I found it strange but what we didn’t know is that my mother was quickly coming to the stage in the disease where she could no longer travel and she couldn’t be left alone. I could keep my job as Bill would be home and he would also be able to finally complete our house. We decided that it would be the perfect opportunity for Bill to go to school full time. We’d sell our house and move to Marion, Indiana so that he could attend IWU. After the house was completed we put it on the market. What normally took 8-9 months to sell took us 6 weeks. A lady had been looking for her “dream house” for 3 years and when she walked into ours she knew that “this was it”.
To be continued..
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Lessons of faith and a missions trip
For those who know this and those who don’t, here are the words.. A very old song (from 1787) of the church that is based on scripture.
“How Firm a Foundation”
1st verse: “How firm a foundation, ye saints (Bible word for living Christians) of the Lord, Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word! What more can He say than to you He hath said, To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?”
2nd verse: “Fear not I am with thee; O be not dismayed, For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid; I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand, upheld by My righteous omnipotent hand”
3rd verse: “When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie, my grace all sufficient shall by thy supply. The flames shall not hurt thee I only design thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.”
4th verse: “The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose, I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, thou all hell should endeavor to shake, I’ll never, no, never, no never forsake!”
I forgot to add a couple of things earlier. I only add them because I truly feel like a spectator in this whole story. And I hope that you catch a glimpse that God isn’t off at some great distance from us. He’s a conversation away. He passionately loves us and is concerned for our welfare. Had I not gone through this fiery trial I’d never known just how close He really was.
My sinus bones on one side were also crushed and as I lay in the hospital I was in excruciating pain from that injury. I think it hurt more than all my other injuries and I begged God to please take the pain away. I suddenly remembered the verse in the Bible that says, “Confess your sins to one another that you may be healed”
I had a secret sin that I had not asked my husband to forgive me for even though I knew that God had forgiven me. After much thought about it I called him on the phone and made my confession and asked for his forgiveness. He gently and lovingly forgave me. After I hung up I literally felt what seemed like bubbles inside my face begin to move and dissipate. Within seconds the pain was totally gone!
My jaws were also damaged and I could barely open my mouth. It took weeks of adding tongue depressors on top of each other to stretch them.
A friend of ours brought me a special gift one day. Her dad had made me several eye patches that had fringe on one, a tiger pattern on another, etc. I had the best dressed eye for several months.
Just recently a friend told me that after the accident she and her husband had gone to visit my mother to console her. Instead, my mother looked at them and with absolute assurance quoted, “I know in whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day!” Thank God for praying and faith filled Moms who hold up their kids before the Lord!
One day while my Mom was at our house we were talking about our on-going financial crisis and she said, “Just remember that GM is not your provider! God is!” Immediately the focus changed. God had provided that job and He wasn’t bankrupt and never would be. We needed to stay focused on Him!
Now, besides unemployment and a car accident we had no car. We lived way out in the country so we needed transportation. A man in our church sold us one for $1.00.
The one thing that had impressed me the most during my time of recovery were the things I had planned to do but somehow never got around to them. Life was never more precious and I didn’t want to waste any of it. My dream was to one day return to Guyana where I had spent my childhood in remote Indian villages. The next year the missionary nurse was doing deputation and stayed at our house for a couple of days. She encouraged me to make the trip. We had never been more broke in our lives but I knew that if God wanted me to go that He would again provide the means. I didn’t want it to just be a vacation, but I wanted to use it as an opportunity to bring encouragement to the people that I would see. It would be a mission’s trip. I sent out letters requesting prayer and asking for financial support for anyone who wanted to help with my endeavor.
To my utter amazement in no time at all I had every cent I’d need for the trip. People were excited to help.
The closer I got to the date the excitement was almost overwhelming! A dream I’d had for 34 years was finally going to come true.
I was gone for one glorious month visiting the two villages where I had lived 200 miles back into the Amazon jungles, reuniting with the Guyana Native American Indians, riding in dugouts, walking the jungle trails, speaking in their churches, working with their kids, and spending long hours listening and encouraging the people. I had a little bit of Guyanese money left when I got ready to come home and gave it to the nurse before she drove me to the airport in the city of Georgetown. We had both forgotten about the exit fare to get out of the country. The amount I had given to her was the exact amount that I needed. Once again, God had provided the exact amount to the last penny.
“How Firm a Foundation”
1st verse: “How firm a foundation, ye saints (Bible word for living Christians) of the Lord, Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word! What more can He say than to you He hath said, To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?”
2nd verse: “Fear not I am with thee; O be not dismayed, For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid; I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand, upheld by My righteous omnipotent hand”
3rd verse: “When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie, my grace all sufficient shall by thy supply. The flames shall not hurt thee I only design thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.”
4th verse: “The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose, I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, thou all hell should endeavor to shake, I’ll never, no, never, no never forsake!”
I forgot to add a couple of things earlier. I only add them because I truly feel like a spectator in this whole story. And I hope that you catch a glimpse that God isn’t off at some great distance from us. He’s a conversation away. He passionately loves us and is concerned for our welfare. Had I not gone through this fiery trial I’d never known just how close He really was.
My sinus bones on one side were also crushed and as I lay in the hospital I was in excruciating pain from that injury. I think it hurt more than all my other injuries and I begged God to please take the pain away. I suddenly remembered the verse in the Bible that says, “Confess your sins to one another that you may be healed”
I had a secret sin that I had not asked my husband to forgive me for even though I knew that God had forgiven me. After much thought about it I called him on the phone and made my confession and asked for his forgiveness. He gently and lovingly forgave me. After I hung up I literally felt what seemed like bubbles inside my face begin to move and dissipate. Within seconds the pain was totally gone!
My jaws were also damaged and I could barely open my mouth. It took weeks of adding tongue depressors on top of each other to stretch them.
A friend of ours brought me a special gift one day. Her dad had made me several eye patches that had fringe on one, a tiger pattern on another, etc. I had the best dressed eye for several months.
Just recently a friend told me that after the accident she and her husband had gone to visit my mother to console her. Instead, my mother looked at them and with absolute assurance quoted, “I know in whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day!” Thank God for praying and faith filled Moms who hold up their kids before the Lord!
One day while my Mom was at our house we were talking about our on-going financial crisis and she said, “Just remember that GM is not your provider! God is!” Immediately the focus changed. God had provided that job and He wasn’t bankrupt and never would be. We needed to stay focused on Him!
Now, besides unemployment and a car accident we had no car. We lived way out in the country so we needed transportation. A man in our church sold us one for $1.00.
The one thing that had impressed me the most during my time of recovery were the things I had planned to do but somehow never got around to them. Life was never more precious and I didn’t want to waste any of it. My dream was to one day return to Guyana where I had spent my childhood in remote Indian villages. The next year the missionary nurse was doing deputation and stayed at our house for a couple of days. She encouraged me to make the trip. We had never been more broke in our lives but I knew that if God wanted me to go that He would again provide the means. I didn’t want it to just be a vacation, but I wanted to use it as an opportunity to bring encouragement to the people that I would see. It would be a mission’s trip. I sent out letters requesting prayer and asking for financial support for anyone who wanted to help with my endeavor.
To my utter amazement in no time at all I had every cent I’d need for the trip. People were excited to help.
The closer I got to the date the excitement was almost overwhelming! A dream I’d had for 34 years was finally going to come true.
I was gone for one glorious month visiting the two villages where I had lived 200 miles back into the Amazon jungles, reuniting with the Guyana Native American Indians, riding in dugouts, walking the jungle trails, speaking in their churches, working with their kids, and spending long hours listening and encouraging the people. I had a little bit of Guyanese money left when I got ready to come home and gave it to the nurse before she drove me to the airport in the city of Georgetown. We had both forgotten about the exit fare to get out of the country. The amount I had given to her was the exact amount that I needed. Once again, God had provided the exact amount to the last penny.
Close Encounter with Death
On June 21, 1994 Bill and I were riding on a back country road not far from where we lived when suddenly a car came flying through a curve straight at us. Bill had to make an instant decision and he noticed we were next to a horse barn but there was a huge piece of equipment where he needed to drive to. So he tried to get between the wire that went to the ground from the telephone pole. The back of the car shimmied and my side of the car slammed into the pole with the side of my head making contact. I instantly was thrown into a coma with blood spurting out my ears and mouth and the side of my head. A lady came running with washcloths to compress the side of my head while Bill tilted my head back and cleared my throat. The ambulance came and attempted to get me out of the passenger side door. Someone had called the medi-vac helicopter and they sat on the road so long waiting that they had to turn it off as the road was starting to melt under the helicopter. Finally the 2nd fire dept showed up and asked why the top of the car hadn’t been cut off.
Two hours after the accident I was taken out with the “jaws of life”. By the time they had me on the ground they could find no appreciable blood pressure. I was medi-vacced to Upstate Medical Center in Syracuse. Bill followed with a friend in the car. By the time he got to the hospital word had gotten out and the ER was full of people to include 3 pastors who were there to pray and give support to Bill. The ER Dr. asked Bill if we had a minister or a priest and Bill immediately assumed that I had died in route to the hospital. He was relieved to find out differently but the Dr. told him that it did not look well for my survival, and if I did live that I would probably have massive brain damage.
They took x-rays to determine the amount of head damage and to determine what bones needed to surgically be put back in place. They found 11 skull fractures and 5 of them were major. But to their total amazement not one bone was out of place. There were bone chips pressing against the optic nerve, but too close to the carotid artery to safely remove them. They also discovered that the bone located above the palate had been broken and had made a clean cut through the lining around my brain but it didn’t touch the brain or the pituitary gland that was sitting right next to it. Because the lining was cut it had kept the blood from building up and causing pressure within the brain cavity that would have been lethal.
Upstate Medical is a teaching hospital and they asked if they could use me as a case study as they had never heard of that particular bone breaking on anyone before. Both ear drums had been broken.
My mother showed up in the E.R. that night and when she looked at me she said, “This is not my daughter!”
They put me in I.C.U. and on the 3rd morning I woke up. I looked around the room and knew that I was in the hospital and that I must have been in an accident though at that particular moment I didn’t remember the incident. My mother-in-law was sitting in the room and I motioned for her to give me a piece of paper and a pen as I wasn’t able to talk because of the breathing tube in my mouth. The night of the accident Bill and I were to meet a couple for dinner at their home and I wrote a note to my mother-in-law with the name of the couple and their phone number asking her to contact them and tell them we wouldn’t be there for dinner that night. I was 3 days off but my brain was functioning just fine. Bill came in later and saw the note on the tray table and after reading it slid down the wall to the floor and cried.
I was put into a regular room and stayed there for 10 days. Every morning I awakened singing a chorus, “The steadfast love of the Lord never faileth, his mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, new every morning, great is thy faithfulness oh God! Great is thy faithfulness!” I heard the sound of a hammer banging in my head. I was still fearful that I might die. The doctor’s didn’t tell me anything and I don’t think they knew. The morning I was to leave the hospital I had a Heavenly visitation. A lady in our church had died the year before. She showed up at the head of my bed and put her hands on both my shoulders. She was dressed in the most beautiful blue dress I had ever seen and it was a shade I’d never seen before. Her face was beautiful and ageless. She was an adult but there was not one crease or sag to her face. She could have been any age. She didn’t speak but I felt totally comforted and I knew I’d be OK.
I want to say here that the Bible is very clear in the fact that humans do not become angels after they go to Heaven. They remain humans. Angels are created beings as well, but totally different than us. The Bible says that “We were made a little lower than the angels”.
After the 10 days were up the doctors sent me home to heal and said they didn’t know what else to do for me. I slept in a recliner for a couple of months as I was too dizzy to lie down. Ten days after I arrived home I had my first Dr’s appointment at the hospital. One side of my face felt like it was heavily novocained and looked a bit distorted from being pulled up. I had terrible whip lash and my right leg had been banged up a little but I chose to walk in instead of using a wheel chair. I sat on the edge of the examining table and waited for the Dr. to arrive. When he walked in he stood and stared in disbelief at me shaking his head. He knew and admitted that he was looking at a miracle!
All that summer I felt totally vulnerable and afraid. Many people came to my home to bring comfort and food. A group of 8 people came and stayed for several days and cleaned and cooked. Our house was big and I was staying in the sunroom so had lots of space when I needed it.
I had a lot of “why” questions and I didn’t have any answers. “Why had this happened to me?” And then later, “Why did God let me live when so many others with even less injuries had been taken?” I couldn’t pray and that was OK. I could feel the prayers of many holding me up. I received hundreds of cards through that summer. I discovered that many churches, to include those from other denominations were also holding me up in prayer. I was amazed and knew that again it was a “God thing”. For those of you who know it, my favorite song became, “How Firm A Foundation”. I’d sit at the piano and play it and sing it over and over and over again. That song was my prayer, and in the midst of all the emotional trauma I felt encapsulated in God’s love. He knew I wasn’t happy with him for letting this all happen but I wasn’t bitter. I knew that my Heavenly Father had something huge that he intended to teach me through it all and at some point he’d let me know.
Some weeks later I went to the eye clinic as I was seeing double and the eye with the bone chips was wandering to the right. I was told that it was a good possibility that it would never be right again. I wore a patch over the eye to get rid of the double vision and by September I was driving on my own. I had been fearful to ride in a car and when Bill took me out riding I knew every car was going to hit us head on. I finally knew that the only way to get over the fear and paranoia was to again totally surrender my life to the Lord and leave it all in his hands. If he wanted me to die that was his business. I knew if I did I’d immediately be in his presence so it was a “win/win” situation. I immediately felt unbelievable peace and the fear was instantly gone.
Two hours after the accident I was taken out with the “jaws of life”. By the time they had me on the ground they could find no appreciable blood pressure. I was medi-vacced to Upstate Medical Center in Syracuse. Bill followed with a friend in the car. By the time he got to the hospital word had gotten out and the ER was full of people to include 3 pastors who were there to pray and give support to Bill. The ER Dr. asked Bill if we had a minister or a priest and Bill immediately assumed that I had died in route to the hospital. He was relieved to find out differently but the Dr. told him that it did not look well for my survival, and if I did live that I would probably have massive brain damage.
They took x-rays to determine the amount of head damage and to determine what bones needed to surgically be put back in place. They found 11 skull fractures and 5 of them were major. But to their total amazement not one bone was out of place. There were bone chips pressing against the optic nerve, but too close to the carotid artery to safely remove them. They also discovered that the bone located above the palate had been broken and had made a clean cut through the lining around my brain but it didn’t touch the brain or the pituitary gland that was sitting right next to it. Because the lining was cut it had kept the blood from building up and causing pressure within the brain cavity that would have been lethal.
Upstate Medical is a teaching hospital and they asked if they could use me as a case study as they had never heard of that particular bone breaking on anyone before. Both ear drums had been broken.
My mother showed up in the E.R. that night and when she looked at me she said, “This is not my daughter!”
They put me in I.C.U. and on the 3rd morning I woke up. I looked around the room and knew that I was in the hospital and that I must have been in an accident though at that particular moment I didn’t remember the incident. My mother-in-law was sitting in the room and I motioned for her to give me a piece of paper and a pen as I wasn’t able to talk because of the breathing tube in my mouth. The night of the accident Bill and I were to meet a couple for dinner at their home and I wrote a note to my mother-in-law with the name of the couple and their phone number asking her to contact them and tell them we wouldn’t be there for dinner that night. I was 3 days off but my brain was functioning just fine. Bill came in later and saw the note on the tray table and after reading it slid down the wall to the floor and cried.
I was put into a regular room and stayed there for 10 days. Every morning I awakened singing a chorus, “The steadfast love of the Lord never faileth, his mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, new every morning, great is thy faithfulness oh God! Great is thy faithfulness!” I heard the sound of a hammer banging in my head. I was still fearful that I might die. The doctor’s didn’t tell me anything and I don’t think they knew. The morning I was to leave the hospital I had a Heavenly visitation. A lady in our church had died the year before. She showed up at the head of my bed and put her hands on both my shoulders. She was dressed in the most beautiful blue dress I had ever seen and it was a shade I’d never seen before. Her face was beautiful and ageless. She was an adult but there was not one crease or sag to her face. She could have been any age. She didn’t speak but I felt totally comforted and I knew I’d be OK.
I want to say here that the Bible is very clear in the fact that humans do not become angels after they go to Heaven. They remain humans. Angels are created beings as well, but totally different than us. The Bible says that “We were made a little lower than the angels”.
After the 10 days were up the doctors sent me home to heal and said they didn’t know what else to do for me. I slept in a recliner for a couple of months as I was too dizzy to lie down. Ten days after I arrived home I had my first Dr’s appointment at the hospital. One side of my face felt like it was heavily novocained and looked a bit distorted from being pulled up. I had terrible whip lash and my right leg had been banged up a little but I chose to walk in instead of using a wheel chair. I sat on the edge of the examining table and waited for the Dr. to arrive. When he walked in he stood and stared in disbelief at me shaking his head. He knew and admitted that he was looking at a miracle!
All that summer I felt totally vulnerable and afraid. Many people came to my home to bring comfort and food. A group of 8 people came and stayed for several days and cleaned and cooked. Our house was big and I was staying in the sunroom so had lots of space when I needed it.
I had a lot of “why” questions and I didn’t have any answers. “Why had this happened to me?” And then later, “Why did God let me live when so many others with even less injuries had been taken?” I couldn’t pray and that was OK. I could feel the prayers of many holding me up. I received hundreds of cards through that summer. I discovered that many churches, to include those from other denominations were also holding me up in prayer. I was amazed and knew that again it was a “God thing”. For those of you who know it, my favorite song became, “How Firm A Foundation”. I’d sit at the piano and play it and sing it over and over and over again. That song was my prayer, and in the midst of all the emotional trauma I felt encapsulated in God’s love. He knew I wasn’t happy with him for letting this all happen but I wasn’t bitter. I knew that my Heavenly Father had something huge that he intended to teach me through it all and at some point he’d let me know.
Some weeks later I went to the eye clinic as I was seeing double and the eye with the bone chips was wandering to the right. I was told that it was a good possibility that it would never be right again. I wore a patch over the eye to get rid of the double vision and by September I was driving on my own. I had been fearful to ride in a car and when Bill took me out riding I knew every car was going to hit us head on. I finally knew that the only way to get over the fear and paranoia was to again totally surrender my life to the Lord and leave it all in his hands. If he wanted me to die that was his business. I knew if I did I’d immediately be in his presence so it was a “win/win” situation. I immediately felt unbelievable peace and the fear was instantly gone.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
The Journey Part II
We attended a church where we had established wonderful friendships and we had wonderful support. People were kind and often would invite us out for a meal.
As the months went back the stress began to mount. One day we gathered our pile of bills and put them on the kitchen table. Bill and I sat down opposite each other and held hands on top of the bills and prayed. We were desperate and told God that if He didn’t help us that we would have to file for bankruptcy. I knew that He had promised in his Word that he would provide all our needs. So I reminded Him of that and I knew that He somehow would come through unless he had a plan that I did not understand. Just then the phone rang and I answered it. It was a man that Bill had spoken to 3 times and Bill had told him about GM closing. I had met him once. He said, “God just told me to call you. What’s going on?” I said, “Well, we were just praying for God’s help to know how to deal with our finances now that Bill is unemployed.” He asked if he could come out the next day and talk to us as he wanted to encourage us. We told him he’d be more than welcome.
The next day he came with a friend and talked to us for three hours. At the end of the visit he handed me a folded check and said, “God told me to give you this 3 days ago. All I ask is that you give 10% of it to a ministry of your choice. Don’t open it until we leave.” The check was for $1,000.00. We wouldn’t be filing for bankruptcy this time. Our faith in God’s promises and provision soared! Little did we know what was ahead. We would need it in the coming months and years to follow.
The hardest time I had was when I’d walk through Wal-Mart and didn’t have a dime to spend. The year was rough but we at least were holding our own with the bills. A friend of ours had said to us one day, “Everyone goes through one huge trial in their lifetime. Maybe this is yours and it will start getting better.”
How I wish that had been true but it was not to be. We would have an even greater test of our faith.
As the months went back the stress began to mount. One day we gathered our pile of bills and put them on the kitchen table. Bill and I sat down opposite each other and held hands on top of the bills and prayed. We were desperate and told God that if He didn’t help us that we would have to file for bankruptcy. I knew that He had promised in his Word that he would provide all our needs. So I reminded Him of that and I knew that He somehow would come through unless he had a plan that I did not understand. Just then the phone rang and I answered it. It was a man that Bill had spoken to 3 times and Bill had told him about GM closing. I had met him once. He said, “God just told me to call you. What’s going on?” I said, “Well, we were just praying for God’s help to know how to deal with our finances now that Bill is unemployed.” He asked if he could come out the next day and talk to us as he wanted to encourage us. We told him he’d be more than welcome.
The next day he came with a friend and talked to us for three hours. At the end of the visit he handed me a folded check and said, “God told me to give you this 3 days ago. All I ask is that you give 10% of it to a ministry of your choice. Don’t open it until we leave.” The check was for $1,000.00. We wouldn’t be filing for bankruptcy this time. Our faith in God’s promises and provision soared! Little did we know what was ahead. We would need it in the coming months and years to follow.
The hardest time I had was when I’d walk through Wal-Mart and didn’t have a dime to spend. The year was rough but we at least were holding our own with the bills. A friend of ours had said to us one day, “Everyone goes through one huge trial in their lifetime. Maybe this is yours and it will start getting better.”
How I wish that had been true but it was not to be. We would have an even greater test of our faith.
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