Sunday Afternoon Musings: We had a wonderful Celebrate Recovery Friday night! God is doing great things! One of the things that was talked about is how we are not able to change ourselves but only through the power of the Holy Spirit that a true change happens. It reminded me of the scripture that says, 2 Corinthians 5:17-21 Amplified Bible (AMP) "Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life]" Though the inward change is instantaneous, the outward changes often take time. Some are delivered instantly and sometimes it takes us pursuing God with all our hearts with whatever means it takes to finally be set free. But freedom it is!!! And especially when a person comes to realize that God cannot tolerate willful sins. If we know we have a stronghold in our life but do not go after being set free from it then it is a willful sin. The world will tell us that no one can be set free from certain habits and addictions. I do not find that in my Bible. “Jesus answered them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin. Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.” John 8: 34 & 37 They also will tell us that even if we are free from acting out those things that it is still who we are so we are stuck having that as our identity. Are some predisposed to certain things, like alcohol? Absolutely! And they should never have another drink. However; that does not mean that is who they are. What about the people who are hurt by other’s sins? God loves those people and his greatest desire is for them to come to know Him and be healed. Often someone’s brokenness is what brings them to Jesus. My heart breaks for those who have been deeply hurt by the sin of others. We are all broken people who sometimes hurt other people on many different levels. We hurt God with our sins. Our sins nailed Jesus to a cross as he took the punishment we deserved. That is why he says that if we do not forgive others he will not forgive us. The Bible says that the only unforgivable sin is against the Holy Spirit when we refuse to accept Christ into our lives. I am celebrating many years of being delivered from very serious and spiritually debilitating strongholds in my life. Had I not known and believed that God had the power to set me free I would still be enslaved to those things and the world would have told me that I could never be set free. People have mentioned how strong I am in my faith. This is why. As I said earlier, when we surrender our lives to Christ we are instantly changed on the inside but from there it is a process to allow God to change us into what He wants us to be. I know the journey. I have been on it for a very long time and my greatest desire is to see others set free and be welcomed into the Family of God. God still shows me things from time to time that I need to let him work on. Do we need to be naïve and stupid? Absolutely not! If I am aware that people have had particular strongholds in their past then I am not going to set them up where they might be tempted and fall. At the same time one of the main rules of Celebrate Recovery is that we are not there to change anyone. We cannot. We can only change ourselves and pray and have faith that God will do the same in others. We all have triggers that tempt us. I have them and so do you. I have found my identity in the One from whose stripes I am healed.

Obedience and God's faithfulness

In the early 1980's I began seeking a deeper relationship with God. My brother had flown out from California to visit us and told us about an experience he had that had transformed him. His pastor had told his church people to draw an invisible circle around themselves and ask God to change the person inside the circle. They were not allowed to try to go into anyone else's circle, but stay in their own. I loved the concept so I prayed that prayer. I knew there were things I still had not totally surrendered to God and I was afraid to because they had become my security and I had no clue what I would do without those things, though they were killing me spiritually. I had finally told God that he could change me anyway he wanted to as I surrendered to Him. One day he told me to go to our church 20 minutes away and pray for revival until he told me to stop. It made no sense and I asked God why I couldn't just pray at home, but I had no peace so I obediently drove into the city. The church was locked so I sat in the parking lot and prayed for about 2 minutes. I had no "spirit" of prayer whatsover but I wanted to be obedient. The second day I drove there again, but this time the church was unlocked so I knelt at the altar for another 2 or 3 minutes and prayed and left. The third day as I knelt there and began to pray I was suddenly filled with an intense desire to pray and pray I did. I knelt there for a long time and left continuing in prayer. I prayed all through the day and would wake up in the night to pray. One of the things that troubled me is that I had asked God to fill me with his Holy Spirit but I didn't feel anything different. I truly hoped I would receive the gift of tongues but when it didn't happen I decided it was all bogus. I asked a friend to pray with me, and the two of us knelt at the altar together. While they were praying out loud I was praying to myself. Suddenly words in another language filled my mind and I began to pray in that language. I knew that God had given me a prayer language as evidence to me that He had answered my prayer. I do not put this on anyone else. I know there are thousands of Spirit filled Christians who do not pray or speak in tongues. But obviously God wanted me to have this, and I was a little amused. At that moment I realized God had a sense of humor and he was showing me that what I had come to believe was not true was indeed true! After we were through praying I drove over to a couple's house I knew to visit. I said nothing to them about what had just transpired. The wife was practicing a song with two other ladies and I was sitting on the floor in front of her husband who was sitting in a chair listening to him talk. Suddenly I was hit with so much joy I could hardly contain it. I didn't say a word, nor did I express it in any way. It was an amazing experience. God had given me a baptism of joy along with a prayer language and the joy lasted for a whole week. "Joy unspeakable and full of glory!" What I didn't know is that God was preparing me for one of the worst experiences I would ever have. About a month later I would lose the man in my life that the sun rose and set on, my Dad. I had no idea the kind of bond I felt with him until I lost him. He had already had strokes and a huge personality change. That had been devastating to see an outgoing man suddenly with nothing to say and suffering from extreme paranoia. I had a panic attack from it and ended up in the emergency room, and they sent me home because they said there was nothing wrong with me. I didn't realize what had happened until years later. About 3 years after his first stroke my parents were going to Florida to visit my brother, Richard, for a couple of months and then on to California to visit my oldest brother, David. Bill and I had driven them to the Syracuse airport to get their flight. We were waiting at the gate for them to leave as no prohibitions had been put on non-passengers at that time. As soon as they walked out the door to go down the ramp I was suddenly hit with a "knowing" that I would never see my Dad again. I went into deep grief and Bill had to hold me up as I walked out of the airport to our car. When we got home I laid on the couch in the fetal position crying and asking God to give me a promise to hold on to. Suddenly he filled my mind with the verse, "Unless a kernel of wheat fall to the ground and die it remaineth alone." John 12:24 "Verily, verily, I say unto you, еxcept a grain of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. ... Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." I had no idea what that meant but I knew God had given it to me and that somehow God would use me to carry out what he had started through my Dad. Bill had some time off of work so we decided to go to Florida while my parents were still there. We spent a couple of weeks with them and flew home. We weren't home a week when I got a call from my brother one morning saying, "Dad's gone to Heaven." Bill was working night shift and hadn't been asleep too long when I woke him up sobbing. My heart was totally broken. When I prayed I told God I didn't want to talk to him, I wanted to talk to my Dad who was there with him. My Mom flew home with my Dad's body and made funeral preparations. I could not be consoled. Everything seemed to be in 3D to me. When they buried him I could see him lying in the ground. It was as though he was still alive in there. To say it was horrible is an understatement. At church during the singing I would always cry. It felt good in some ways to let out the emotion of grief. One day a man walked up to me after church and told me to stop that crying as my dad was in Heaven. It didn't help at all. Instead I felt very judged. A year later I was at a ladies event at church and a man was speaking and sharing his experiences on being a father to his children. It was more than I could bare. As soon as he was through I walked into one of the Sunday School rooms to the opposite side and faced the wall and cried. I didn't think anyone saw me, but suddenly the speaker, Tom Priest, came up behind me and gently spoke to me and put his arms around me and told me how sorry he was. God used that dear man to help heal my heart. I no longer sobbed my heart out but the pain was still there, and I felt it suffocating me. In prayer I talked to God and told him that he promised to be a woman's husband when he was no longer there and I asked him to be my Father since mine was no longer here. God heard that prayer and totally healed my heart. I am so grateful for a loving heavenly Father who will be to us everything we need. That experience 34 years ago taught me to never judge the way people grieve. I had no control over my response to losing my father, and neither does anyone else have any control over their emotional response to losing someone. Neither can there be a time put on grief. Since that day I lost my Mother and I lost a brother, and though I was sad to lose them I did not grieve as i did for my Dad.

Her name was Laura. I met her and her friend around 8 years ago in the town down from where we live. I was impressed at how gentle and sweet they were, but was also aware that they were obviously lacking in this worlds goods. I started to pray for them to include finding a way to get them to come to our church. I didn’t know that God would soon answer that prayer and that in answering it I would learn many valuable lessons. Laura and her friend were placed in a motel not far from us, and that was the beginning of a very interesting relationship. They came to church and challenged all of us to love like Jesus loves. They were from a culture that the majority of us had no idea about called the culture of Generational Poverty. Our church reached out to them by supplying their needs and welcoming them as they did everyone else. We had them in our home for meals and gave them rides. Something I discovered is that this culture is one of constant transition as they never stay in one place very long. Laura was a severe alcoholic and at 44 she looked like she was a very old woman. She turned 52 this year. Our ladies group wrote to her when she ended up incarcerated for a time, continuing to pray for her and show her unconditional love. They moved in and out of our area and our life a number of times and one day I noticed one of her eyes was completely blown and she was blind in it. I asked her what happened and she grinned a little and shrugged her shoulders. I hadn’t heard from them until last week when the phone rang and Laura was on the other end just calling to tell us hello as “it had been awhile since I talked to you.” She sounded happy and we had a nice conversation. Before she hung up I told her that we loved her and her friend and she responded with, "We love you too.". Her friend called me a few days ago and he was crying, “Laura is in the hospital in a coma”, he said. They had been together 28 years. Bill picked him up on Wednesday and went to the hospital to see her. It was obvious she was being kept alive by machines. Laura had a Grand Mall seizure, which caused a stroke which caused a heart attack. She had no family so they let her friend make the determination to take her off the machines today. I don’t have the answers to the questions this kind of story generates; all I know is that Jesus calls us to love and told us that whatever we do for the least of these that we have done it unto Him. Does God place the marginalized in our lives to show us our hearts? Does he do it to teach us what unconditional love looks like? My heart is sad as hers is a sad story on so many levels and I know many whose stories are the same. They are “sheep” without a “Shepherd”. I will continue to pray that her friend will be drawn to the Father’s love and be rescued from his life of addiction into the joyous and abundant life that Christ offers.

Onondaga Reservation..

1986.. Bill and I were attending Lyncourt Wesleyan Church in Syracuse, NY and teaching a new converts Sunday School class. My Mom, who had been widowed, was an ordained minister and was pastoring the Onondaga Indian Reservation Wesleyan Church in her retirement. My Dad had pastored there prior to becoming ill. I loved the people and having grown up with Native Americans in South America, I felt very much at home with them. One day I began to feel very compelled to help my Mom with the work. Bill had never shown any interest in that ministry so I wasn't sure how he would respond, but when I told him it is what I believed we should be doing he immediately agreed. I was totally surprised but thrilled. I also did not know that it was the beginning of an amazing journey God had orchestrated. My next dilemma was to find someone to teach our Sunday School class. We agreed not to tell anyone what we were planning but to pray. If God provided a replacement for us we would know it truly was what God was calling us to do. So we put out our "fleece". Two weeks later we had just finished our Sunday School class and were walking to the sanctuary for morning worship when a man met us and said, "I hope you guys aren't offended but I truly believe God wants me to teach your Sunday School class." What an amazing God we serve! We joyfully gave our class over to him and began attending Onondaga. My heart was for the children and I took over the ministry to them. The first thing I discovered is that the Native kids were very different than city kids in their response to Sunday School and Children's Church. They were thrilled to be there and they listened with rapt attention and participated. It was obvious they had been taught to respect their elders and did not have the attitude of entitlement that so many children have. I was "tickled" one day while teaching my Sunday School class of 9, 10 and 11 year olds, when one of the kids asked me what my clan was. They were totally surprised to find out that I was not Native American. Truth be told I do have Native American blood in me (I think 1/32) and found out a couple of years ago that it is Onondaga. How cool is that! Because it is a Matriarchal society, my Mom was highly respected and it sure didn't hurt me either. I was concerned that we didn't have more children coming so I made it a focused matter of prayer. The very next Sunday to my absolute shock and joy 12 new kids came walking through the door. I was also very pleased that others stepped up to the plate to help with this ministry. We were there for two years and unbeknownst to any of us my Mom was exhibiting signs of dementia as she started to lose her place more and more while preaching and told the D.S. that she was ready to officially retire. There was no one to take over the work and the D.S told us that the district was talking about closing it. What happened next would change our lives forever after. Without hesitation Bill said, "I'll do it until you can find someone else." What a shocker that was! He had never preached nor had any inclination to but was soon to be the new Pastor at Onondaga while still working a full time job at G.M. As this was also the calling on my life I jumped into the ministry with everything I had, doing the midweek Bible study, children's program and visitation. Some of the visits were extremely interesting. Especially the ones where I was called at 2 in the morning because someone was in the hospital due to an overdose. On one of those calls the young man told me that nobody cared anything about him. My response back to him was, "Don't you dare say no one cares about you! It is 2:00 in the morning and I should be sound asleep. Instead I am here because I DO care about you!" I fit in perfectly with my outspokenness as that is how they communicate, and I had been raised in a Native American culture in South America that was the same way. One of the things that was extremely challenging was the huge spiritual warfare that was waging all the time. I know it is everywhere but it was tangible out there. Thankfully, I found some wonderful and not off the wall books on the subject and used them frequently. I don't want to become too graphic on here by going into any details but I was so happy that "Greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world." One thing I will share is that I was hit wit extreme depression. I do suffer from seasonal affected disorder but this was beyond that. Another church in our district called me on a Friday and asked how they could pray for us. I shared with the person what I had been going through and they told me they would pray all weekend. On Sunday morning I got up and felt overwhelmed with depression and did not have any desire to go to church. I wasn't awake very long when suddenly I was hit with unspeakable joy. In the middle of the living room I began to sing and dance in rapturous praise. That kind of depression never hit me again. A beautiful little girl came walking up the sidewalk holding the hand of an old man one Sunday. I didn't know then that she would become an integral part of our lives. She started attending Sunday School and church regularly. One day she took me home to meet her mother. Her mother was around 42 and had been an alcoholic since she was 11 years old. She didn't know what it was to live life sober. We became good friends and I would often visit her. One day she asked Bill to dedicate her daughter and asked us if we would be her godparents. We were very honored and said yes. I spent a lot of time with her and she lived with us for a summer. It put a crimp in her style as she had been totally on her own for so many years and now she had a "Mom" and a "Dad" putting parameters on her. After we were there for two years Bill had a month vacation through GM and we decided to take it as we both needed the break. I had distanced myself from this lady as I was pouring so much time into her and she had no heart for what I was offering, and others were being neglected. Just before we left, the lady called me and told me she was scared as her eyes and skin were yellow. I told her to go to detox and we'd see her when we got back. When we got home I got the news that she was in the hospital. I went to see her and found her in a coma and her body was twice it's side from fluid. She was dying from liver failure. I felt intense anger at Satan for using the weapon of alcohol to take out one more precious person made in God's image. I suddenly heard that still small voice of the Holy Spirit telling me to pray for her healing. My response was, "Why should I God? You know she will never serve you!" And in a totally clear response He answered, "Because I love her!" Her boyfriend and cousin were in the room and I told them that I was going to pray for her. As they looked at me with skepticism in their eyes, I said, "The same God who created her is able to recreate and heal her!" I left there with no faith but total faith in the One who was leading me. So I began to pray, and pray I did morning noon and night asking God to heal her. The more I prayed the more faith I had. About 10 days later while kneeling in my living room I heard that still small voice again that said, "Stop praying and rejoice!" I still was skeptical, but I took some anointing oil and went up to the hospital to see her. When I walked into the room I couldn't believe my eyes. She was lying there with her eyes open looking at me. She had a breathing tube so could not talk. I called her by name and she nodded her head. I asked her if she knew she had just experienced a miracle and she again nodded her head. The next morning they removed the tube and in 3 days she was in her own room. He best friend had gone into the hospital the same time with the same problem and had died. But here she was alive and well and I was ecstatic with joy! I read I John to her and suddenly a light came on as she responded with "So it's saying that if we say we don't sin that we are a liar?" I said yes. She still didn't surrender her life to the Lord but she was on the mend. She went home but that next Fall she was in the hospital again with something else. Some Native singers from Oklahoma were at our church and after I told them of the situation they went to see her and one more time shared the good news of the gospel with her and she prayed and surrendered her life to the Lord. There was a young man who had hurt his brain badly on drugs. We dearly loved him and prayed for him and most importantly that he would surrender his life to the Lord. It seemed he couldn't focus enough to do it or didn't see the necessity. One day at church we were talking and praying with him with that huge wall still in place. I felt led to verbally come against the powers of darkness that were preventing him from doing what he knew he needed to do, so that is what I did and the very next moment he was able to focus and pray. What a mighty God we serve! Psalm 107:31 "Oh that men (and women) would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works for the children of men (mankind)."

Remembering

The Saga Continues..

So the testing continues and yes, I became offended! Very offended!!
Jesus said that it was impossible to not have things happen that would cause offense. So it's a huge relief to know that it really is normal to feel offended. It's how we deal with it that counts.

Remember the couple that stood me up on Wednesday night? She called last night to apologize. At first she said that they were just too busy and then she changed it to
they just weren't used to going to church anymore, and then she ended it by saying that they simply forgot. Now you tell me which of those stories was the truth. She had called ME the day before asking for the favor, not me her. I was pretty un-responsive but told her that someone would be there to pick them up in time for church this morning. I really am glad that they were ready and waiting. But it was the ride to church that finished me off and caused me to be greatly offended. I heard all about how they wanted to move back to PA because of the wonderful church there that had showered them with groceries and other things when they had first moved in, and how they didn't expect them to come to church or want anything from them. And the people there were much more friendly than the people in this church. HU?! Her boyfriend responded from the back seat where he was sitting by saying, "But we've just started." OK so I had their number and it was flashing in neon! We'd reached the church by then which was fortunate because I needed to distance myself from them very quickly.

Let me interject at this point that our church is the most loving and giving church of any I've ever been associated with. When they hear of a need they will go out of their way to see that it's met. A little over a year ago a group of people that had been living in the same housing where this couple are living started coming to church. We lavished everything on them that we could. At Christmas the church gave them all huge baskets of food plus supplied them with microwaves, bedding, etc. The majority of those people sold what we had given them to buy booze. We are called to love and to meet needs but we are also called to be wise stewards of what God has given to us and also have to be careful not to continue the enabling. We gave as unto the Lord so weren't lamenting for having helped. However; it was a lesson learned and we'd be much wiser the next time. One of the men from that group ended up having his life has been totally transformed. He is a growing Christian and is an absolute delight. So it was worth all the care and love we poured into all of them. One day the others might get their heart right with God too. But back to this couple.

So hopefully you can understand why I instantly felt like I saw through what they were saying and the word "users" kept flashing through my mind. She knows all the right "Christianeze" as well. I entered into the morning service very offended and angry. And by the way.. there is an anger that is not sin and this was it! I planned to have a talk with them on the way home and tell them about the previous tennants and how the church had helped them but how wary we had become because of what they had done. And I also planned to tell them that what I was hearing is that they were really asking for help and that they needed to just come out and ask for it instead of pretending that they were interested in coming to church. I ended up helping in the nursery which was just as well because my heart was in no condition to listen to the message.

After church dismissed I talk to the couple who had been stood up the week before and told them what had happened since and how I was feeling. I asked them to please pray for me that God would give me wisdom. So the three of us stood there holding hands and he prayed. When he was finished praying my whole perspective had changed. The Lord had filled my heart with His peace and I was no longer angry and offended.
Bill and I drove them home and she said how much they enjoyed the service and how much she really wanted to do God's will, etc. etc. We had a chance to share some with them and explained to them that often people wonder why their prayers aren't being answered and why they are receiving no blessings and it's because the only way we could expect God's blessings in our lives is to walk in obedience to his Word. They got very quiet.

We will continue to pray for them that God will bring them out of the darkness into his marvelous light and that we will see their lives transformed!

So my lesson today is that being offended is normal but we immediately need to take it to the Lord in prayer and make sure that our response is one that is the pleasing and perfect will of God and that we don't just react out of our offended humanness.

There may be a time that it will be OK for me to get in someone's face and read them the "riot act". In fact that has happened and I knew that it was right and the outcome was wonderful. But today was not such a day.

I wonder when the next "test" will come, and who it will come from?!

I've been reading an incredible book called, "The Bait of Satan" by John Bevere. It's all about offense in the Body of Christ. This is a quote from it I found quite intereting. "The Greek word for "offend" in Luke 17:1 comes from the word skandalon. This word originally referred to the part of the trap to which the bait was attached. Hence the word signifies laying a trap in someone's way. In the New Testament it often describes an entrapment used by the enemy."

It makes me wonder how often we are used for "bait" when we respond to situations in the flesh instead of responding according to the dictates of the Spirit. How about the day another Christian says something that normally wouldn't be offensive at all but because I forgot to put my spiritual armour on that morning I become deeply offended. And I wonder how often we are used as "bait" in the lives of unbelievers by the way we act and react to situations. In all of these scenarios entrapment can occur that can cause events to take place that have eternal consequences.
I've been doing a lot of soul searching while reading this book and God has really been doing a work in me.

Within the last 2 days three different situations occurred that would have normally caused me to be greatly offended at the individuals, but because of God's grace I found myself feeling some frustration but not offended. Now that is a miracle!

1. I went to the hairdresser and asked her about doing a perm for me and asked her the cost. She told me $32. I was surprised that after all these years it was still that price so I went for it even though in these days it was quite a splurge for my unemployed pocket book. When I got to the register to pay for it she said, "Oh it's not $32 it's $49 but I can give you a discount at it will be $45.73" Whoops!
Ok so I could have made a huge issue over it and told her I would only pay the $32 as that is what she had quoted me and let it come out of her own pocket. And by rights I could have, but I thought, 'why give her a bad day because she made a mistake?' So I paid it and left. I had no feeling of personal offense toward her at all. And no, she didn't get a tip basically because I couldn't afford to give her one after diminishing my funds by $13 more than I had expected to. And on top of that I could only hope that I could make something decent out of the "do" she had given me. Talk about a "bad hair day". My age is bad enough without having made me look like a '60's grandma with a high pompador. I felt stressed and frustrated and headed home to wet my hair down. Thankfully it worked!

2. A couple who had come to church once, called on the same day as the perm incident (Tues) to ask if I'd pick them up for Church on Wed. evening. They live about 10 min. from us so off I went to pick them up at the designated time. When I arrived their landlord was outside working in the yard and told me that they had left a few minutes before for a bike ride. Whoops!
So I headed back home to pick up my husband and take him to church. I found myself feeling a bit harried and frustrated but had no feeling of personal offense toward them.

3. We were awakened at 4:00 this morning with a call from the man Bill was taking fishing today to find out if the fishing trip was still on. This man is a new believer trying to get his roots dug deeper in the faith. He had called yesterday afternoon to ask the same question. Bill wasn't home but I told him that as far as I knew it was unless it poured rain. Whoops!
Bill and I both suffer from insomina so once we are awakened there is no going back to sleep. So I was torqued! Really torqued! And I told Bill everything he needed to say to him when he picked him up. And thankfully Bill knows not to take my advice after I've only had 4 hours sleep the night before. Am I offended? I don't think so in the sense of holding it against him. In fact I'm feeding him dinner this evening after they bring their big haul of fish in. Bill does intend to gently give him some guidance of the best time to call. :)

In the first first incident would it have really made a lot of difference had I reacted badly? She doesn't know me, though if I ever get her again I would probably have forfeited my right to ever talk to her about anything of eternal value.

How about the last two if I show offense when I see them again?

And what would that offensive spirit do to my spiritual life? How much of a stronghold would I end up having?

Will I continue to have the right reactions when other events occur that could cause great offense? I know that there is no way without totally allowing God to renew my mind continuously and remembering to take from His unlimited supply of grace. I need to expect the enemy to be trying to bait me every single day by using other people. And I need to remember that he will also try to use me as bait as often as he can.

Now I am going to post this and try to get a little sleep so I can get something accomplished today, like the final for the online course I've been taking. Groan!

Well, it appears I have an apology to make to my fisherman guest. When they got home I was so tired I could hardly see straight as I had not been able to fall asleep, and I know I didn't act very graciously when he told me he was sorry for waking me up at 4a.m. I didn't want to say, "Oh well that's OK" because it wasn't.. No it wasn't at all. But my brain was dead so I just looked at him and said, "Well, I don't do very well on 4 hours sleep a night". To which he responded, "That's all I had!" So that was a no win. I shuffled off to the recliner, turned the fan on and fell asleep. When I was awakened later by the phone ringing I discovered I was alone in the house. Our guest had been taken home as he was in a lot of pain so didn't even get dinner. I so hope part of that pain wasn't caused from my apparent attitude causing him to be offended. I hope to see him tomorrow and tell him that I am not angry but that I was just very, very tired. My guess is that he won't ever call us again at 4a.m. unless it's an emergency. I can only hope!